Sample Excerpt
September 2016
It’s dark outside, but I don’t mind, or at least that’s what I’ve been trying to convince myself. I’m starting college now and everyone says that this is a time to re-invent yourself, but I just don’t think that’s what I want. I met a girl from his town yesterday and I just can’t get my mind off of him. So, I messaged him. Facebook, of course, because I deleted his number in one of my fits of rage. After two years without contact I don’t even know what I expect from his response, if he even does respond. An apology? I know it isn’t healthy to have those expectations from someone else, it leaves me vulnerable. I feel so desperate pining after someone who seems like they’ve created a whole new life that I don’t fit into. I don’t fit in his life; I don’t even feel like I fit into my life. What I have learned about my new life in my 2 weeks of college is that I am stressed. Not just with school work, because that hasn’t really picked up yet, but with just being here. Being away from my family, moving to a different state with a different lifestyle and different people— it all just seems too much right now. A constant state of stress. No wonder why I feel like I’m regressing. I don’t know if I messaged him because I want to bring something from my past into my future with me, but it feels right. Everyone around me seems like they’re building this new life, but I can’t help but think about how much I crave for my old one.